It is true, in menopause, estrogen is in free fall, which may result in a decline in libido for some of us, even momentarily, but this is not true for all. Research will attest to the fact that many women feel freer to enjoy sex. Many confess that they have a more intense and passionate sex life after age 40 and even after age 50. As always , there is no rule, and you should enjoy sex as you please, even at this age. Always remember that the most important sex organ is our brain, and to stay vital it needs stimulation, novelty and continuous involvement, even (or perhaps especially) with our lifetime partners. That is to say, even if the body is aging a bit, the head can prove equally seductive, if only we take  the opportunity to make it happen.

The drop in estrogen may cause increased dryness of the intimate mucous membranes, which can cause pain during intercourse (dyspareunia), perhaps leading us to cut down on sex. There are gel lubricants, for example with hyaluronic acid or with other substances, that can be applied before sexual intercourse to solve the problem. These also have a pleasant scent. The gynecologist may also recommend a testosterone-based cream if penetration becomes painful. To keep the mucous membranes more toned, soft and elastic, you can also use vitamin supplements or cream made with vitamins A and E, and/or soy isoflavones to be applied locally. We keep our face and legs hydrated, so why not do the same for our most delicate, intimate parts?

With childbirth and with age, the uterus and bladder tend to slowly slide down, but don't worry! All you need to do is regularly practice some small exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor. In essence, this involves alternately contracting and releasing the pelvic and abdominal muscles. You can do this at any time of the day, even the most unexpected. While peeing, try to stop the flow and then start it again. While in the elevator, keep the muscles contracted from one floor to the next, then relax and start again. You can also do this on the tram, subway or bus between stops. Inform yourself. There are many exercises that can help you keep your abdominal muscles toned. It's in the best interest of your sex life, not to mention the best way to keep your organs firmly in place and protect from urinary incontinence.

Who can blame you! Due to strange hormonal alchemy, it is possible that during menopause, even those who have never had this problem end up with facial hair around the chin or upper lip. But that's not the end of it. While on one hand hair grows less (and we are happy about that!!), those that remain tend to turn white, even in the most intimate areas. If you really can't handle this, you can dye your hair, using dyes made of natural extracts like henna. Partial hair removal is also an option, which requires constant or total "maintenance." The latter solution is pretty radical, think it over very carefully!

Let's say this right away: perfection has nothing to do with attraction, and each of us have clear examples of this in everyday life. First of all, your man does not see you as you see yourself, just as you likely don't look at him and judge his appearance against that of your favorite actor. The chemistry between two people is a mysterious occurrence involving the brain, smells, sounds, visual and tactile sensations, and much more, all of which, however, have little to do with the perfection of the body. And if you just cannot get over your embarrassment, put your back into it! Surprise him with the sexiest lingerie ever worn, a transparent nightgown or an erotic shower. Let your imagination run wild and enjoy the moment but, but don't give up, and above all, don't ever put yourself in a bad light in front of him. That's what friends are for!

It seems like the discovery of hot water because at this age we know for sure that a night of lovemaking leaves us contented, relaxed and serene. But scientists agree; the more you have sex, the more you keep the desire alive. Sexual activity stimulates the release of endorphins, the pleasure hormones, which are substances that benefit the mood and combat stress and inflammation.  The endorphins produced spread throughout the body, providing benefits. The skin is more relaxed, bright and oxygenated as a result of orgasm, but there's more. Even facial cells can produce endorphins, so take advantage of every opportunity to get kissed, caressed and cuddled, from head to toe!

How do you learn to be partners again? Often you need to open a new dialogue and a profound psychological intimacy with your partner even before you can have physical intimacy. It is important to create spaces dedicated to you as a couple, away from the world, to resume an intimate dialogue, to have fun and to think of some new project to do together. Sometimes life makes us take different paths that separate us, but love resides within us. Planning is an excellent nutrient in the happy life of a couple.

Suggest to your partner that you be affectionate with each other the way you were when you first got together. Tease each other and play with the mutual desire without satisfying it; you will see how easy it is to rekindle the passion.  Continue to fuel it. 

Many men of our age, although they find it hard to admit, may begin having difficulty in getting an erection. In response they tend to shy away from the problem rather than address it. If you think this may be the case with your partner, break the silence and open a dialogue. Satisfy him as much as you can, and if the problem persists, go speak to your gynecologist together. The problem of one partner inevitably affects the well-being of both, and to ignore it only serves to build a higher wall every day that is more difficult to break down.

Paola tells us how she was reborn after taking HRT: "I am 45 years old, and I'm beginning to get the first few hot flashes and night sweats. I suffer from insomnia, but above all, I'm always tired, even when I have no reason to be, and the desire to have sex has lessened considerably, causing problems with my partner.  I went to my gynecologist immediately, who reassured me and prescribed a new hormone therapy for me, that he said was "even safer and better tolerated - a progress in medicine. A molecule had been associated with estrogen that was not a progestin, making the association much more comfortable for the woman and without the risks of progestin that not all women can tolerate." Today, finally, I have started feeling better. I got my energy back, and rediscovered the pleasure and the desire to make love with my partner and to feel desired! Talk with your gynecologist, who can give you the best advice."